Tales Of The "Hole Family"!

Poster Boy

"Self-Medication as a Game Improvement Tool"

Please Help!!!

In Harnett  and Moore Counties, North Carolina


Sadly despondent over a malfunctioning putting stroke and a declining golf game, Rod Wishart (a member in good standing of "The Hole Family"), drinks himself into a scotch-flavored  Kool-Aid stupor.  Trading his shoes for putters and advice brought no relief.  Luckily, his choice of partners seems to pull him through despite his shortcomings!! Our thanks to the families who take him in and watch over him during his visits.

Please open your heart and give generously to the
"Wishart Home for the Hopelessly Untalented"
You'll be glad you did!  Help give others who are lost, unskilled and inept a reason to play so they won't end up like this!!


Last seen on Christmas Eve in the vicinity of Woodlake, Keith Thomas (a.k.a. "The Swine Squire", a.k.a. "Mr. Three Wiggle", a.k.a. "Hoot Mon") is wanted in Harnett County on three counts of dress code violations...make that four...and in Moore County on numerous counts of impersonating a golfer!  While not considered dangerous at this time, Mr. Thomas is a known carrier of the "Three-Putt Gene" and has, in the past, infected several of his playing partners.  Approach with caution, notify the fashion police immediately and DO NOT, under any circumstances, mistake him for a couch!!!




"The young chicks dig me!!!!
                                  Al Funk

Prominent Educator Linked To
Notorious Golf Gang!!

A prominent Mitchell County educator was photographed at a local golf club this past weekend in the company of Bonnie & Clyde Cowen...better known as the leaders of the notorious "Gang of 14".  When questioned, the unnamed educator was quoted as saying "Hey, they looked like normal people to me...how was I to know that their math skills were so advanced!"  Experts agree that the stigma of her association with the Cowens should have no permanent effect on her golf career.

The pair apparently slipped through the dragnet put out by the authorities, but are expected to resurface immediately prior to the next GHIN update!